Not Necessarily the Same as Lumping....But Close....

This morning Paige told me she had found Lollipop's happy spot.

Paige:  I found Lollipop's happy spot.  It's right under her neck.  She purrs and shakes when I scratch her there.
Me:  Aww...how sweet.  She loves it when you spend private time with her and love on her.
Paige:  Well, it's not the same as Gilbert.
Me:  True, it's not.  But you're her mommy and she loves you.
Paige:  Well, it's not the same thing as lumping, but I try to make up for Gilbert being gone.
Me:  That's wonderful.  Just fantastic.

I was telling my mom about my dogs driving each other (and me) batshit crazy the past few days.  I think it's time they had their nuts cut.  I then explained to my mom that they're like an old married couple, biting each other's nuts one minute and cleaning one another's teeth the next.

My mom told me that she didn't know what kind of marriage I had, but there was certainly NO nut biting or teeth cleaning going on in hers.

She's probably also never lumped either :)

Sorry mom....at least I didn't talk about the Pirate Eye.......

Keep it real - and have a great weekend no matter what kind of freaky relationship you have with both the animals and humans in your life!!

K

Conversations with Paige

This morning on the way to school, I noticed a lovely scent coming from the backseat of the Expedition......

Me: Hey Paige, are you wearing that Bath and Body Works body spray?
Paige: Yes. Why?
Me: Just wondering. You smell delicious.
Paige: Yeah, I know. I like to mix it up.
Me: Mix it up??? Paige: Yeah, wear different perfumes. Keep people guessing. 
Me: Are you kidding me?
Paige: Nope. No one knows from day to day how I'm going to smell when I come to school. They always ask when I get to school. Or they just smell me and try to figure it out.

From the mouth of my soon to be nine year old......

Pray for her daddy and me.....

Spreading my own special brand of joy and kindness....and an aroma that might keep you guessing....

The Spice Mistress
(AKA The HMFIC)

If An Itchy Palm Means Money, Should I Fear An Itchy C-Section Scar?

Wow - what a friggin visual! Nothing to worry about here. My tubes are tied. Still.....kinda scary logic. I know this goes without saying, but I truly adore my child. With that said, whew.....what a week its been - and its only Tuesday! She has worn my ass out. Paige normally calls Gammy on the way to school every morning and talks to her. Then we shoot the shit. Well, she was so out there this morning I had to turn on Radiohed and suggest we just have some quiet time on the way to school. She's just so anxious and all over the place right now. And she is such a worrier. I can normally handle her with no issues, but man......the past few weeks have been rough. Tonight, while watching The Walking Dead, Paige and I worked on her math. I HAD TO TAKE a break to see the heads roll out of the aquarium, but we got a lot accomplished. I was able to help her and she did really well. I know she's going to come through this in no time. And why wouldn't she? After all, she's the miracle baby born at 30 weeks :) I've got a standing date with Thom Yorke. See ya on the flipside, muthaf**kas!! K

So Many People....So Little Time (and bail money)

I have been so freakin keyed up and stressed out for the last two weeks.  I've gone through all of my hydrocodone and half of my Xanax.  The HDBIC at T&B Demolition, LLC didn't go away as we had hoped, so that caused a shitload of stress and general bullshit for Lord Brignon and myself.  That situation (we think) has finally been put to bed, but I'm not at liberty to give out details at this time.  What I will say is don't ever, ever have a business partner.  Especially one who likes to lie, spend money at breast lounges and likes to tell his wife that his business is in the shitter because of everyone but him.  But I digress.

Then there is my sweet, precious, Juicy of Love and Deliciousness.  Many of you know of her math struggles these past few months.  I had the pleasure of giving up an hour of my life to listen to her teacher and principal say things to me like, "she keeps saying she's confused, but there's no way an 8 year old knows what that means" yet, "she should know what a numerator is" and "she should really be able to remember things better".  Here is a snippet of the conversation I had last week:

Me:  So, ya'll want me to tell you why Paige makes the mistakes she makes in math?
Them:  Yes.
Me:  Did you ask her?
Them:  No.
Me:  Well, I'm not trying to be a smart ass (yes, I said smart ass...I didn't mean to, but I did) here, but aren't ya'll the ones teaching her?  Does it occur to either of you to ask her what it is about the math problems she doesn't understand?
Them:  She says she's confused.  She can't possibly know what confused means.
Me:  Why wouldn't she know what the word confused means?
Them:  When I was sitting with her, pointing to each of the problems asking her why they were wrong and how she got those answers, she just kept telling me she was confused and didn't understand.

This from the principal, who was standing over my shoulder stabbing the problems on the paper with her finger and re-enacting her interaction with Paige...when she was supposedly "helping" her.

Me:  Did you go through the problems with her and show her how to get the correct answer?
Them:  Yes.  She said she didn't understand.  She should know all of this.  She couldn't even tell us what a numerator is.
Me:  So, my child shouldn't know what the word confused means, but she should be able to tell you the top number of a fraction is a numerator while you are sitting next to her drilling her?
Them:  No response.

I could continue sharing this bullshit conversation, but I just get worked up all over again.  Basically, they've passed my kid around to a few teachers in hopes that she will get the right answers when doing fractions, pre-algebra and multiplication problems in front of/with them.  She still doesn't.  So I ask, do you offer tutoring?  The first time I asked I was told that tutoring was more of a crutch and they didn't want to start doing that yet.  The second time I asked, all of a sudden it's available.  But with a caveat - "we don't know if it will even help her since she doesn't even understand any of this to begin with."

Then it gets better.  "Paige has always struggled with math", I'm told.

Me:  No she hasn't.
Them:  You've never had to come in about Paige and math.
Me:  No.  For the past five years, I've talked to her 2nd grade teacher about her lack of focus, weird questions and struggles with Religion testing.  I talked to her 1st grade teacher and Mrs. Volker about her reading and focusing (Mrs. Reyna, her 1st grade teacher, tutored that baby and she's a reading fiend now.)  I talked to Mrs. Hartley because she thought she was immature.  I had to agree, considering she was 5 and in kindergarten.  And finally, Sister Lucy and I spoke about Paige's lack of interaction with her classmates (well, maybe she doesn't like them) and whether or not I was feeding her food full of red dye 5 because she was so full of energy and didn't like to focus (she was 4 and in pre-k).

But no, I have never, ever talked to anyone other than the two of you about my child struggling in math, because this is the first time she's had problems in math.  And from what every other parent in this class has told me, all of our kids are having problems.

Them:  Oh no.  Just Paige.

So then I ask them what we are going to do to correct this and help out my child.  And do you know what they say?  The principal and 3rd grade teacher/assistant principal at the school I've been sending my child to for five years and spending thousands of dollars a year so that she receives the best education possible tell me to call the Ennis ISD and tell them they HAVE to test her because we pay school taxes to them.

Me:  Test her for what?  Dyslexia?  Learning disabilities?
Them:  Oh no.  She's not dyslexic and she doesn't have any learning disabilities.  Her grades in all of her other subjects are fine.  (Her math grade is a 78).
Me:  Um, okay.  So what do I tell them to test her for?
Them:  They need to test her to see why she doesn't understand the math.  And if they can tell us why she doesn't understand, then we can try to help her.
Me:  I've told you why she has a harder time with math.  It's overwhelming to her.  It's tedious, methodical and once you start compounding simple math with other elements, it is difficult for her.  Haven't you noticed that Paige excels in unstructured subjects, but that her math grades are lower.
Them:  Yes.  But she should still get this.
Me:  So what if they tell you the same thing I've just told you.  Are you going to treat her any differently?  Teach her differently?  Give her more one on one instruction?
Them:  If she has a specific learning issue that they can pinpoint and can tell us exactly what we are supposed to do to fix it, then yes.  We have to then.
Me:  But you don't have to unless they tell you exactly what to do.
Them:  Correct.

I have been going batshit crazy about this for a week.  I am so disappointed in my child's school right now.  Gary and I have supported Catholic education from the time we started planning Paige's education.  We never thought we would have this kind of conversation with an educator at a private Catholic school. 

I called and talked to the principal at one of the elementary schools in Ennis.  He was more helpful in 10 minutes on the phone than her teacher was in the hour I spent with her.  It's real simple - 3rd grade math is hard.  Much harder than 2nd grade.  On top of that, not all kids are math minded.  Does it mean they have a specific learning issue?  No, you just have to work with them a little more than the others.  What you don't do is write them off and that is certainly the vibe we've gotten from St. Joseph's about Paige.  So, I got the name of some online math games that I've downloaded for Paige and since she's getting a tablet for her birthday, I'm going to load it with all sorts of math games, worksheets and anything else I can get my hands on.

Just because my kid can write a screenplay about a teenage zombie but can't do 3rd grade math does not mean anything is wrong with her.  And that's that!!!!

And that is the other thing.  All I hear from them is that she doesn't have any self confidence.  That is BULLSHIT!!!  Anyone who knows my kid knows she thinks she is the bees knees.  What is going on up there to make my child doubt herself?  That has always bothered me and while a Catholic education for Paige has always been important to her daddy and I, we've kind of turned the corner after the past week.  I have a feeling she won't be attending St. Joseph next year.  This has just left such a bad taste in our mouths.......

So the other morning I ask her if she thinks she's smart....

Paige:  Of course I'm smart.  I've known that since I was a baby.

I love that kid!!

Between T&B Douchalition and 3rd Grade Math, I've been on a tear the past few weeks.  Thank God for Mild Bill's.  It's such a blessing.....I love coming to work everyday.  It's busy and I've got so many wonderful things on the horizon.  This has really been the only bright spot this past year - at least professionally.  I know 2013 is going to be better.  I just know it!!!

Gary and I cooked last weekend at the Blue Christmas Police and Fire Dept CCO in Irving.  I won 1st Place Beans and placed 7th in Chili.  Gary placed 8th - hell yeah!  They had 57 cooks - what a fantastic turnout and the weather was gorgeous!  This weekend we will be cooking at the Irving Elks Lodge. They are having the combined TOT and Cowtown Christmas Party Friday night, so we'll be there for that.  We will probably go home Saturday after the cook off and Gary will go back up there Sunday.  I don't know if I'll cook both days.  We are definitely going to Tri State in January and I'm pretty sure we are going to Indianapolis to party with some of the Biskit Boys at the New Year's Eve CCO up there.  We have to use our free SWA plane tickets and since New Orleans is a little out of our budget right now, this may be what we use them for.  Hey - there's a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Indianapolis....so you won't hear any complaints from me!!

Mild Bill's will soon have Casa Fiesta beans available via the website and we'll also be bringing them to any cook off we attend.  Stay tuned to our website and FB for more info!

Mild Bill's also has a 10% off coupon for all spice mixes and food products now through December 31st.  This applies to all items in both sections on our website.  Our jellies, taco seasoning, ranch dip mix and chili mixes make fabulous gifts!  Use coupon code XMAS10 when you check out :)

A few weeks ago I found a recipe on Pinterest called Mexican Eggs in Purgatory.  It's basically eggs baked in a spicy green sauce.  It looked and sounded fantastic, so I decided to make them for dinner.  Well, I got to HEB and I thought, what if I did something more along the lines of Huevos Rancheros instead of baking them.  So I did, and this is what I came up with!! 

Cadillac Cowgirl Salsa Verde Huevos Rancheros
(Serves 2)

4 Eggs
4 Corn Tortillas
1 cup Green Salsa (I bought a bottle of Herdez and used 1/2)
1/2 cup Chicken Broth
1/4 tsp Mild Bill's Jalapeno Salt
1 can Hatch Green Chili Enchilada Sauce
1 can Casa Fiesta Black Refried Beans, prepared according to directions
Pico de Gallo and Crumbled Cotija Cheese for garnish

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and spray a baking dish with non stick spray.  Lay the corn tortillas on the baking dish and spray the top of them with non stick spray.  Set aside.  In a medium size soup pot, combine the enchilada sauce, green salsa, chicken broth and jalapeno salt; bring to a boil and cover.  Reduce the heat to medium low and simmer it for 10-15 minutes.  It will thicken up slightly and reduce a little bit.  While that is simmering, place the corn tortillas in the oven and bake until slightly crispy around the edges - about 10 minutes.  In the meantime, fry the eggs however you like them (Gary eats his runny, I cook the crap out of mine) and once done to your tastes, set them aside while you begin assembling the deliciousness :)

Remove the tortillas from the baking dish - two to a plate.  Spread the warm refried black beans over each tortilla and top with the eggs.  Pour the green sauce over the top and garnish with the crumbled Cotija cheese and Pico.  Serve warm and enjoy!!

We had a terrific Thanksgiving meal.  We roasted our turkey in the new roaster my mom and I bought and we had a ham from The Honey Baked Ham Store.  Everything was amazing and of course I ate and drank a little too much!  I took a nap right after lunch :)  Between the mimosas, red wine, turkey and dressing, I was in a serious trytophan coma!!!

I also tried something new with my Jalapeno Jelly.  I warmed it up in the microwave and added it to the cranberry relish.  Uh yeah - it was BAD ASS!!  I also used Jalapeno Relish in my Pea Salad for the first time ever (it was AMAZING!!!) and I used Hatch Medium in my macaroni and cheese for a little heat.  I'm going to make the macaroni again before I post the recipe.  I didn't quite like the consistency of the sauce, so I want to make it one more time. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.  I'm going to get back to filling orders :)

Keep it Spicy!

The Spice Mistress

Cadillac Cowgirl Cheeseburger Casserole

Good Morning!!! 

It's getting close to Thanksgiving!  My Honey Baked Ham will be here today and I'm going to start brining our turkey tomorrow.  Lots of good food on the menu and I'm going to try a new Mac and Cheese recipe.  I'll be sure to share if it's a success.  I am also going to spice up my pea salad with a little jalapeno relish this year.  I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before....maybe it's the copious amounts of wine I consume while preparing the Thanksgiving meal that sometimes clouds my thinking skills.

Last night I made Cheeseburger Casserole.  I haven't made it in forever and when I used to make it, there was never enough, so I decided to double it.  I also made it better by adding a few Mild Bill's products to it.  Duh!!  I think it came out great and it's really easy to make, adapt for your tastes and double or triple if needed.  Check it out:

Cadillac Cowgirl Cheeseburger Casserole

2 lbs lean ground beef or ground turkey
1/2 onion, diced fine
1/2 bell pepper, diced fine
1 Tbsp Mild Bill's Budda Burger Seasoning
1 Tbsp Mild Bill's Jalapeno Ranch Dip Mix
8 oz sour cream
2 tubes refrigerated Crescent Rolls
2 cups shredded Velveeta or American Cheese

Preheat the oven to 375.  In large skillet, saute the onion and bell pepper over medium heat until they both start to soften; add the ground meat and cook until the meat is done and the onion and bell pepper are completely soft.  Drain if necessary (usually don't need to with lean ground beef and/or turkey) and allow to cool slightly.  In the meantime, spray a 13x9 casserole dish with non stick spray.  Unroll the crescent rolls, keeping them in large strips, and lay them out in the baking dish.  Carefully push them up the sides as you are creating a bottom crust.  It's okay if some of it overlaps and make sure there are no gaps.  Place in the oven for about 10 minutes so that it can prebake.  While that is cooking, combine the Budda Burger Seasoning, Jalapeno Ranch Dip Mix and sour cream with the beef mixture in either the skillet you used or a large bowl; taste for seasonings and adjust if necessary.  Remove the prebaked crescent roll dish from the oven, pour the meat and sour cream mixture over the crescent roll crust and top with grated cheese.  Bake for 15 minutes or until the cheese is melted.  Be careful not to burn the edges of crescent roll crust - you can always wrap the edges in foil if needed in order to cook it a little longer to melt the cheese.  Serve with a multitude of potential side dishes and enjoy :)

I've done something to my back.  And this is not related to my drunken fall out of my bed prior to Terlingua.  That impacted my ass and tailbone only and this is completely different.  It also predates my drunken fall.  That my mother witnessed.  I've probably just shamed her even more for telling people that she was there when it happened.  Sorry....I had a little too much wine :)  Anyways, my back is effing killing me and I really don't know what else to do besides what I've been doing - self medicating on booze and pills.  Paige and I are skipping the Turkey Trot this year because there is just no way I can do it.  I don't want to go to a back doctor because I don't want someone cutting on me and I'm not big on chiropractors.  I think this is the perfect time to book a massage!  Don't ya'll?

How about all of the Mild Bill's customers kicking ass last weekend?  Wow!!!  So many friends and customers racking up points at the various cook offs.  I love, love, love it!!!

Anyone can put flowers in a vase and sell them.  Doesn't make them a florist.

Wow...that was a random!!!

Paige is obsessed with aliens.  She doesn't believe they exist, but she is constantly watching alien videos on the internet, movies, etc., looking for proof.  Well, Saturday morning, she decided to scare PawPaw by donning an alien mask she had made and waking him up while she was wearing it.  Problem is, PawPaw thinks aliens are pretty cool, so Paige didn't know quite how to respond when not only was PawPaw not scared, but wanted her to take him to her leader!  Oh Paige.....never a dull moment.  She had money on a Walmart gift card, so she bought a scooter.  She rides it constantly.  She was riding it in the house Sunday night a wiped out in the kitchen.  It was pretty funny.  She didn't hurt herself, that's why it was funny.  If she had hurt herself, I would have checked on her and then thought it was funny.  Hey, what can I say?  We're a tough crowd in Ellis County!

Be sure and check out the website for all of our new products - Bob Coats Championship Chili, EC Special (Hell Yeah!), Mild Bill's Chili Magic, Spice Mistress BBQ Rub and Terlingua Sunrise Jelly. 

Spreading my own special brand of kindness, joy, passive aggressive behavior (more passive these days....ruins all the fun) and the unmistakable aroma of fresh, cooler kept spices......

The Spice Mistress

And I Shall Call It Doggie Fantastic

Paige has asked me to help her start a blog.

Wait for it.......

She wants to call it "Doggie Fantastic".......

It will be a blog dedicated to cute dogs.  People will email her pictures of their dogs and she will pick the cute ones and post the pics on her blog.  She even thinks she can make money off of it.....

Paige:  You know what?  People will want pictures of their dogs on my blog so bad that they'll want to pay me to post the pics.
Me:  You mean you're going to charge?
Paige:  No, I mean that people will want me to think their dog is the cutest, so they'll give me money to pick their dog.
Me:  Oh, so like a bribe.
Paige:  What's a bribe?
Me:  When you pay someone to do something that helps you that they might not otherwise do.
Paige:  Oh.  Well, I don't see it that way.  I mean, if their dog is really ugly, then I won't let them buy me.  But if there are a few really cute dogs and it's close, then I'll consider taking a couple of dollars.
Me:  Sounds like you've got it all figured out.

My kid is just the best ever.  I told her she should start a blog on solving math problems.  She didn't think that was very funny :)

Back to work.  Busy Friday at Mild Bill's.  I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

Oh, before I go, I need to let everyone know that you can now order EC Special, Mild Bill's Chili Magic, Spice Mistress BBQ Rub, Bob Coats Championship Chili Blend and Terlingua Sunrise Jelly via the website, www.mildbills.com.  I'm also going to make sure I get pictures posted this weekend as well.  And I'm making more jalapeno jelly.  And I'm going to try and cook chili tomorrow.  And I've got to do my Thanksgiving grocery shopping.  Gary's going to the deer lease and P is going to Gammy's.  It'll just be me and the boys :)

Have a Spicy Weekend!!

Kelly

Paige Hearts Hooters

"Mommy, I could work at Hooters. I could be a little Hooters girl and serve the kids meals to the kids. Do they make Hooters girl outfits in my size?"

That was our dinner conversation last night while we were at Hooters. Paige loves Hooters - because of the owls. It's her favorite place to eat. She took extra care when coloring the outfit on the Hooters girl on her kids menu.

"I could make outfits for them when I have my fashion design company Shimmer and Shine."

She was also highly concerned with them catching cold if they wore their outfit outside when they went home. I explained to her that they change into their regular clothes when they leave....kind of like strippers.

I didn't share the stripper part with her. But I was thinking it.

It's a busy day in my spicy part of the world. As the country slowly marches into fall and winter, people want chili. This week has been particularly busy and I'm happy to see it. We've been busy with walk in business at the store as well. Life is good :)

I made chicken fried steak the other night and while I was making my gravy, I had a question...."what would this taste like with a little jalapeno powder in it?"

Answer? Freakin AWESOME!!!

I used green jalapeno powder and it was so good. It added the right amount of warmth and it wasn't overpowering at all. I really liked it. As much as I try to avoid green jalapeno powder, this was the perfect opportunity to use a little bit of it. Try it!!!

Time to scream CONGRATULATIONS to fellow Renegade, friend and customer TJ Cannon for winning TICC!!!! WTG to all of our friends and customers who placed this year. Also a Renegade shout out to Melinda Sawey for placing 8th - HELL YEAH!!!!!! I was so happy to see Melinda get up on that stage and when TJ's # was called, we were already behind the stage with Champ, Mel, Jason, Ron, Gary, Delo, Sam and Toby for 3rd place show (plus Sam and Tobey both placed - RENEGADES!!!) and we went batshit crazy! How awesome is that?!?!?!?! Mild Bill's and the Renegades had a great year - 4 of our group placed in the Top 20 and we won 3rd place show. How freaking cool is that?!?!? Plus, Auntie Delores Sanders placed in the Top 10 this year. Hell Yeah! Again, congratulations to all of our customers and friends for kicking serious ass this year. Thank you all for being such fabulous customers!

Another customer of ours, Cynthia Whittenberg competed in the World Food Championship in Las Vegas and got 3rd Place in Red Chili!!! Way to go Cynthia! She was also kind enough to hand out business cards and product lists to the public in an effort to let more people know about Mild Bills. We can't thank her enough for flying her banner and talking about us - you rock, Cynthia!

And - Dr. Ted Hume? Now he can be known as Dr. Ted Hume, TWO TIME Behind the Store Champ! So glad to see another customer win as well as our customers dominate at OTICC Behind the Store cook off.

Guess we've got some high quality spices that some really amazing folks that know how to cook some bad ass chili with!!


It was such a fantabulous week for Mild Bills. Oh, and our customers from China - they came to Terlingua and we got to meet them! What a great group of guys and we hope they make it to TICC every year. They auto qualified at the Shanghai cook off and that made them eligible for this year's TICC. Gary and I also want to thank everyone for coming to our Margarita party Friday afternoon. I love to meet people that I've been either talking to on the phone or emailing for the past year - it helps to put a name with a face. We had a great time Friday visiting with everyone, debuting a few new products and just enjoying great margaritas and our friends. Thank you again to everyone for being a part of our fantastic business and hobby :)

I'm going to get back to work now. I sat down to print labels and thought what the hell - I'll blog really fast!

Keep it real....and keep it spicy!!

The Spice Mistress

Monday, Monday

Well, I survived it at least. Hell....I may have even thrived a little today. Gone are the Mondays of years past....headaches, chest pains, liquid Xanax lunches. Nit any more. Not in my spicy corner of the world ;) Paige is totally over Justin Beiber. She told us this morning that Selena Gomez dumped the 'Beibs because he lip sings. Paige says she doesn't like lip singers and she's using his poster in her room for target practice. Nice!!!! I don't know what she's using for a weapon.....although she does have a bow and arrow (arrows that have suction cups) a la Katniss....so who the hell knows. I just realized I haven't mentioned anything about TICC. I'm blogging from my Nook, so I'll wait till I'm on my laptop. But.....1st Place was a customer.....as was 2nd - 20th. Just sayin.....Mild Bill's has some kick ass shizz :) I made chicken fried steak for dinner and used Jalapeno powder in my gravy. Uh, yeah! That made some some tasty gravy!! It had just the right amount of heat so it didnt overpower the gravy. I was sort of impressed with myself! I am totally digging this cooler weather. It makes me want to nest and cook and hang out in my cozy chair with my babies. I am cooking chili this weekend and then canning again after Thanksgiving. I'm anticipating more holiday business at the store this year, so I want to be prepared. Gammy worked at the store today, so that was a a huge help. I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. Before we know it, Christmas will be here. Im going to sign off for now.... Spreading my own special brand of joy and kindness.... Kelly

Aaahhh.....I Almost Forgot......

Being a Catholic/Episcopalian, I root for Notre Dame. They were playing Boston College tonight and early in the game, the ND running back fumbled the ball. I got a little loud. Paige was watching it with me and she asks why I yelled..... Me: Because he fumbled the ball and the other team got it. Paige: That wasn't very smart. Me: No it sure wasn't. He has one job and thats to hold on to the damn ball. Paige: (looking serious) I bet he has to say a few Hail Mary's for that scew up. Me: (laughing!!) WHAT????? Paige: Yeah, cause he's Cafwic (thats how she says Catholic sometimes. I love it) He'll have to go to confession and I bet his Father makes him say a Hail Mary for dropping the ball. I bet he will even have to say the whole Rosary if they lose. It must be hard to be a Cafwic football player. Me: I bet it is too. Paige: Yeah, thats why I'm going to be a fashiom designer and weather girl in New York city. Wow - what do you say to that?? Night!!

99 Problems and a Field Trip Ain't One

Paige is convinced that her class will be going on 99 field trips this year. They went on one Friday and on her way to school she told me that after this one they'd have 98 left. Its really hard to get an idea out of her head once its in there, so I've just learned to let it go. Either she'll figure it out or she won't. Paige has bigger issues these days. I don't know how else to explain it, but I think aliens came into her room one night and sucked all of the math knowledge out of her head. It has been a ROUGH month of 3rd grade homework. ROUGH. I dont know what has happened to my little math whiz, but over the past few weeks she's forgotten about borrowing, money and simple addition. Her teacher and I are working with her, but it's hard to help someone who can't even tell you why they think the completely off the wall answer they're giving you is right. It makes me want to down a bottle of wine and we all know how much I hate drinking :) I've also caught Paige sleepwalking again. She's done it twice this week. The kid is wide awake (but not really) and will carry on a conversation with me while she tries to get in bed in our PANTRY! What the ???? Poor baby, but its pretty damn funny at the same time. We've had to get back in the habit of setting the alarm each night just in case she tries to wander out of the house! I'm blogging from my brand new Nook :) I killed my Kindle beating the shit out of Gary with it while he was snoring :( Apparently there are places that will fix your dead Kindle, so I'm hanging on to it in hopes of having it repaired. I'm not advocating beating the shit out of your sleeping partner, but in my case, I'd simply had enough. I couldn't go to sleep and his snoring could be heard over Radiohead and through my earplugs. It was awful. It's still awful. He won't shut up. Now that I have a Nook tablet to blog from, I'll be able to do so more often! Thanksgiving recipes are being devised as I type. I know I'll have some good ones to share. I'm off to bed. Tomorrow is Day Two of my canning extravaganza ;) Keep it real....... K

Conversations With Paige

Paige:  Mommy, isn't there some kind of meat stuff in meatballs?
Me:  Yes.  Meat.
Paige:  I know, but isn't there some kind of meat in the meatballs?
Me:  Yes....meat.
Paige:  I'm confused.  What do they use to make the meatballs?
Me:  Paige!!!  They use meat.  What the ?????
Paige:  But what kind of meat?  That's what you're not getting.
Me:  Paige, it can be any meat...beef, pork, turkey....whatever.
Paige:  Turkey is meat?
Me:  Oh Paige.....

I figured out that kids have a total disconnect between meat and what makes the meat.  It seems like once they figure out the cute pig is actually bacon, they sort of freak out.  She knows what meat is....I'm hoping this was just an isolated event.

As most of you have read on FB, my child finds it embarrassing that I don't place at cook offs, she's completely prepared to ax me in the event I turn into a Zombie and try and bite her and my husband and I have had the most horrific time dealing with our douchebag business partner.  For all of the joy my life brings me, 2012 has completely sucked ass.  I hate saying things like that because in the big picture, I, we, (all of us!) are extremely fortunate.  Yes, we all have serious ups and downs, but we are alive, mostly healthy, mostly happy and live somewhat comfortable lives.  Over the past year, I have felt like my spirit has been tested and there are times, like now, that I think the douchebags of the world have won.  And then on the other hand, I remember that I'm unbreakable.  Life is hard.  Owning a business (read: Demo Company) is even harder.  Don't ever, ever have a business partner.  Never, ever trust that your financial well being will matter to someone else as much as theirs matters to them.  Remember who your friends are and don't be surprised when you realize who they aren't.  Marry someone that you would want in a foxhole with you and count yourself lucky to have friends and family (even if there aren't that many) who have your back.  From the outside, money looks like it fixes everything.  It doesn't.  It creates even more greed and when you are dealing with unscrupulous people, that greed will know no bounds.  There isn't anything wrong with having money (I certainly have enjoyed it), but I know now that I wouldn't trade peace of mind for any amount of money.  I am so lucky to have found something I truly love to do, regardless of what kind of money I earn while doing it, or what people think of me while I'm doing it :).  Mild Bill's has been a bright spot in an otherwise craptastic year.  I'm fortunate and even though Gary and I have been dealing with so much the past few months, I believe the best is yet to come our way.  Today is one of those days when I'd like to sit in my comfy chair in my kickin gray lounge pants, take a Xanax and a Hyrdrocodone, and drink a bottle of wine and drift off into a deep, uninterrupted sleep and wake up in a different reality.  Alas, life doesn't work that way and I wonder if it did, would we all be grateful for what we had if we didn't ever have to deal with how we wound up with it?  I believe everything happens for a reason and that there is a lesson in so many of our troubles and triumphs.  I guess it boils down to how deep you are willing to dig your heels in to hang on to who you know you are even when life is at it's lowest point and there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  That's when I say to stop looking for the light and become your own. 

K   

A Week of Testes

Or, if you aren't Paige, testing.  Catholic schools don't do that crazy TAKS, STAAR, whatever it's called, that public schools do, but they do have a week of standardized testing.  Paige refers to it as her week of testes.  She doesn't quite say testing, and because it's funny, I don't correct her.  I know, mom of the year over here, but it's funny.  So she'll talk to my mom and the conversation will go like this:

Paige:  Gammy, I love testes days. 
Gammy:  WHAT???
Paige:  You know, it's testes week.  We don't have homework.  I wish we could have testes every day.

And it goes from there.  And I sit in the front seat and drive and laugh my ass off.  I mean, isn't that kind of why people have kids....for the entertainment value????  I mean, that's why I did....

Well, technically, I got pregnant on accident, so I didn't plan on my offspring being my entertainment but why ruin a good thing by correcting her pronounciation of certan words?

I'm cooking in Cleburne tomorrow - it's one of my faves.  It's a two day cook off and I usually take my trailer and my child for a mommy baby weekend.  No trailer and Juicy is going to the movies with Mamaw tomorrow.  Gary's working on his deer stand and I guess the babies will spend the outside with him sunning themselves.  Showing off their muffs, that sort of thing :)

I would be remiss if I didn't very publicly thank Doris Coats for the HUGE shout out she gave Mild Bill's yesterday morning on Fox Good Day.  Doris, you are one of a kind, a hell of a chili cook and I can't thank you enough for mentioning us on Good Day.  Not only did the website blow up with orders, but the walk in business since yesterday has been insane.  Thank you, thank you, thank you :)

Keep it Spicy, my friends.....and spread your own special brand of kindness and joy, whatever that may be :)

K

Musings.......

One of the reasons I don't blog as much is because I have to watch my mouth.  If I can't express my opinion on MY BLOG, then it really isn't a whole lot of fun.  I'm always being told that I can't write this, I can't write that.  Well, bullshit.  If someone doesn't like what I write, then don't read it.  I always crack up at people who listen to or read opinions that do nothing but inflame them, then get upset about what the person said or wrote.  If you know you are going to be pissed off by it, why subject yourself to it?  It's like political talk shows.  I can't stand them, they're ridiculous and quite frankly, I'm tired of actors and celebrities being asked their opinion on the state of our country and the world.  So guess what?  I don't subscribe to them - on TV or in print.  That way, I don't get worked up over something that I know I drives me crazy.  But that's just me.  And that is my rant for this morning :)

I made the mistake of drinking Starbucks coffee the past two days.  And not just the coffee, but venti Americanos with an extra shot.  I couldn't figure out why my pancreas was so jacked up....and then it hit me.  Ahhh....not so bright there, Spice Mistress.  Not so bright at all!

I'm worried about Paige's obsession with TV.  She has a hard time making good choices when it comes to TV and reading, or school work in general.  Monday night I told her that she was going to have to go back to her no television schedule Sun-Thurs because she wasn't reading in the evenings.  You would have thought I told her Lollipop had died or something.  She means well, and she's not a bad kid AT ALL, but she has a serious love (a love hunger, if you will) for the TV.  Tyler was the same way.

There is to be a meeting of the owners of T&B Demolition at some point today.  Of course, only three of the owners will be present because of them wouldn't deign to be involved with all of us.  I mean, if you don't read a set of plans correctly and don't walk a job prior to bidding it, how can you be surprised when it doesn't make any money?  And cutting costs doesn't mean cutting the 20 hour work week of one person to 16 hours...because, you know, that's really going to make a difference.  No, you cut the hours of the dead weight douchebag that doesn't work and spends his time fishing and going to titty bars instead of running the field like he's supposed to.  But hey - that's just me and I obviously don't know a damn thing about running a business :)

For someone pissed off that she can't write what she wants on her own blog, I just kind of did, didn't I?!?!?!?!?

On a MUCH lighter note - Paige's 4th Annual Spooky Halloween contest is next weekend and then it'll be time for TERLINGUA!!!  It has been so busy at the store and I've got so many spices and blends to talk about....that's going to be my goal.....blogging once a day and talking about one of my spices.  That should keep me blogging and sort of out of trouble. 

And just in case you all didn't know.....our spices are the freshest you can get your hands on.  They stay in the walk in cooler until ordered and then they are packaged.  You can't get our blends anywhere else....our recipes our proprietary and can't be sold to, blended for or sold by anyone else - regardless of what you might have heard or been told.  Quality is key when it comes to spices and you won't find a higher quality product anywhere else :)

Have a fantabulous day!  I'm going to get back to my spices and do what I do best...spread my own special brand of kindness and joy and the unmistakable aroma of some really kick ass cumin!!

The Spice Mistress

 

So This is What My Blog Looks Like.......Back in the Day.......

Haha.....long time no blog :)

This is going to be a short but sweet one, with more to follow tonight and tomorrow.

We have a lot to catch up on.....conversations with Paige, recipes and as was recently pointed out to me by my husband, my lack of hotness as compared to 20 years ago.

But let's not dwell on that awkard domestic dispute this fine morning.  Let's start (and end!) today's blog post with a Paige Special:

Paige:  Mommy, this book says that you can introduce dogs to guinea pigs, but that you should be careful.
Me:  Yep (it's 7:15 am and I haven't had enough coffee....so I'm not much of a conversationalist yet this morning.)
Paige:  Well, I just don't think that's a good idea.  Especially with Eddie.  He has a hunger for Lollipop.  A love hunger.  And a food hunger.  I mean, he wants to eat her, but he's hungry for her love, too.  That's why I called it a love hunger.  You can have a love hunger and a food hunger for someone.

Have a great day everyone!  I'm going to keep it spicy today - hope you do too.....

The Spice Mistress

A Small Morsel Until I Blog Again.......

This morning, Paige had the following to say:

"Mommy, since I can't lump Lollipop like Gilbert did, I just scratch her back when she wants to be lumped. I know it's not the same, but I thought I could make her feel good until we find another guinea to lump her."

And yesterday:

"Mommy, next time I go to Gammy's, I'm going to get my butterfly net and bring it home to catch a rabbit. I'm going to keep it alive, I don't want you to think I'm going to kill it or anything. I just thought Lollipop could use a friend. But I'm not going to let them birfalize."

I haven't blogged in a few weeks and in that span of time, Gilbert passed away :(. It was really sad and Paige is still a little upset. Poor baby. School started last week and that had been a nice distraction, but still....

Lunch made (still proving a point to that lunch lady), breakfast made and I'm drinking my coffee. Just a few more days until we head to Gruene for my annual Charlie Robison lovefest/birthday celebration. This will be my last weekend on the river until next year, so I'm going to make this one count ;)

Keeping it real by providing services to ALL the residents of Ellis Co.......

The Spice Whisperer

Irony - Brignon Style, Conversations with Paige and a Few REALLY Yummy Recipes

Some people call it the Bowden curse, but I like to call it a special form of irony...you know, when you find something that works wonders for you in one aspect but f*cks you in another?  Yeah - that kind of irony.

I stopped taking Cymbalta a few months ago because it was doing more damage to my already short term memory issues from my concussion and it wasn't very liver friendly for me.  However, it helped with a lot of chronic pain I have from Lupus, my myriad of stomach issues (yes, I'm serious) and my tendency to be a rageaholic.  My memory had just deteriorated to the point that I literally had no recollection of what I had just done.  After very careful consideration from two physicians, I stopped taking it.  While my memory has somewhat improved (I no longer wash my hair multiple times each morning), my chronic pain has returned, which sucks.  I've started taking another chill pill so that I don't kill anyone, but it just isn't the same.  Cymbalta was like a miracle drug for me in so many ways, but I was on a very fast train to CRS Land and if not taking it would help restore my memory, then I had to explore that option.  I'm still not convinced that I've regained enough of my short term memory to justify not taking the Cymbalta anymore, but I said I'd give it 6 months and I still have a few to go.  (Between you and me, I'm counting the days until I refill my Cymbalta RX!!!!)

Next on the agenda, my FABULOUS hormone shots.  Again, extremely helpful for some of the female bullshit I've got going on right now....but, guess what - Lupron causes bone loss and osteoporosis.  I have been baffled as to why my left hip has been killing me for the past four months.  I found out Monday and I was just like, "WTF????"  I finally find something that works for me and it's slowly eating away at my hip.  The upside (so maybe this doesn't count as shitty irony) is that I have plenty of refills on my hydrocodone!!!  I seriously could not figure out what the hell was going on with my hip and when I went in for my follow up on Monday, he sort of spelled it out for me.  I have to have a bone density test now.  Yay.  I'm so excited.

So, that is my sad tale of irony and how it has worked against me for the past six months.  A side note to my doctor's appointment on Monday, though - I took Paige so that she and Dr. Truong could see each other.  He hasn't seen her since he delivered her and I wanted him to see the "Miracle Baby Born at 30 Weeks".  She and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him and the NICU at St Paul/UTSW and now that she's gotten older, we've been able to tell her some of the things that went on during and after her birth without scaring her.  She's so curious and always wants to know about when she was a baby, but we've always been careful about what we've told her.  It was really cool to see them meet.  He told her the reason she was so smart and coolnwas because he was the first one to touch her and he transferred his coolness to her.  She ate that shit up. 

Speaking of Paige.....

I've got some really good ones in store :)

A few weeks ago, I told ya'll about her latest adventure - songwriting.  Well, she was over at my mom's last week and was working on a new song.  The title?

If You Want It, I Can Fake It.

Yep, you read that correctly.  My child wrote a song called If You Want It, I Can Fake It.

She swears she was talking about Karaoke.  I sure as shit hope so. 

Her friend Abby spent a few nights over here and the first night the girls played dress up.  Paige told my mom she dressed up as a "Goth" but couldn't tell my mom what that meant.  She said she knew she was "Goth" because she had on dark lipstick. 

A few days later, she asked me to fix her hair in a "dirty ponytail", like the one they put in Abby's hair.  I wasn't quite sure what that was and I know the look on my face clearly expressed that to Paige.  So she says:

"You know, a dirty ponytail."

Me:  No, I don't know.

Paige:  A dirty ponytail is how girls wear their hair when they want to look trashy and hot.

I just looked at her!!!!  I don't think she had any idea what she was really saying.  I told her no and that she didn't need to go around telling people she wanted to wear her hair in a dirty ponytail so she could look trashy and hot.  God....I am so paying for my raising.  And it didn't stop there.

We were watching the Olympics Saturday night and Paige looks at me and says:

"Mommy, not everyone has nipples."

Me:  WHAT?????????

Paige:  Nipples.  Those things on your face when you smile.  (OMG...it just gets worse!!!)

Me:  You mean, dimples?

Paige:  I guess.  I thought they were called nipples.

Me:  No!!!!  They are called dimples.  Please do not call them nipples.

Paige:  Okay.  But does everyone have nipples?

Me:  Yes, everyone has nipples.  Can we stop talking about this??

I couldn't wait to call my mom and tell her about that.  I could hardly keep from laughing long enough to tell her.  Oh Paige.....

So we got up and walked early Tuesday morning.  We were walking by the Patak's and Paige moos at his cows.  She then tells me that she doesn't know what she's saying when she moos, but those cows know because they moo back to her.  She moos again because she knows that they'll know what she's saying even though she doesn't know.  And that is how she talks to the cattle.  She doesn't know what she's saying, and she doesn't know what they're saying back to her, but they answer her, so they must know, so she keeps talking to them.

This was all pre coffee at 7 am in the morning.  I love my child.

On a very positive note, I made chicken tacos Saturday night and my child ACTUALLY ate the chicken even though it had been simmered in a tomato sauce.  I almost fell over.  And, she ate another one on Sunday.  Unheard of!!!

So let's talk about these chicken tacos.  You can do them in the slow cooker or on the stove in a dutch oven like I did.  Either way, they are awesome!  Serve along with some rice and beans and you've got a delicious dinner!

Cadillac Cowgirl Chicken Tacos

3-4 lbs Chicken Breasts
1 2 oz package Mild Bill's Taco Seasoning
1 28 oz can Diced Tomatoes, undrained
1 4 oz can Diced Green Chiles undrained
Salt and Pepper

Season each side of the chicken breasts with salt and pepper.  In a large covered skillet or dutch oven, brown the chicken breasts on each side.  Once brown, add the diced tomatoes, green chiles, and taco seasoning; stir to combine.  If necessary, add a little water to make sure that the chicken breasts are covered with liquid, but don't drown them.  Bring to a boil, cover and then turn the heat to medium low.  Simmer until done and the liquid has reduced some - about 45 minutes.  Remove the chicken breasts and allow them to cool.  Once they are cool enough to handle, shred the meat and return to the tomato mixture.  Stir to combine and warm them over low heat.  Use either soft or crispy taco shells and top with cheese, sour cream, lettuce or whatever you prefer.  This recipe easily serves four hungry adults :)

I had enough of the cooking liquid left over and I used it to make my Mexican rice.  It was a little spicier than usual (well, I am the Spice Mistress) and we all loved the extra flavor it gave the rice.  If you are making rice to go with the tacos, use some of the excess liquid in place of the tomato sauce, chicken broth or water you would use in your (or the recipe I've posted before) recipe.  I think you'll love how it turns out!

I love fried chicken.  I'm picky about my fried chicken and it's always been something I endeavored to make on my own.  To me, Babe's has the best chicken hands down.  I also love Popeye's (especially their mashed potatoes and gravy OMG) and my mom's is pretty damn good, too.  I have tried and failed so many times to prepare delicious, thoroughly cooked on the inside and not burnt on the outside fried chicken.  I finally achieved my goal and I think I actually reached Fried Chicken Nirvana.  Below is my recipe - try it and enjoy this deliciousness with mashed potatoes, cream gravy and hot buttered biscuits.  (And no, this is not supposed to be healthy, so be careful not to make it too often!!!)

Cadillac Cowgirl Fried Chicken

4 Chicken Breasts, boneless and skin on
4-5 Chicken Thighs, bone in and skin on
1/2 Quart Buttermilk
4 teaspoons Seasoning Salt
2 teaspoons Mild Bill's Telicherry Pepper
3-4 Dashes Louisiana Hot Sauce
3/4 Cups Milk
1 Egg, beaten
2 Cups All Purpose Flour
2 Tablespoons Baking Powder
5-6 Cups Vegetable or Peanut Oil for frying

In a very large bowl or resealable bag, cover the chicken with the buttermilk and 2 teaspoons each of the seasoning salt, telicherry pepper and a few dashes of the hot sauce.  Cover (or seal the bag) and refrigerate overnight, or for at least six hours.  About twenty minutes prior to frying the chicken, remove it from the fridge in order to take the chill off of it.  While it's hanging out, set up your wet and dry stations.  Using either a resealable bag or a pie plate, combine the milk, a few dashes of hot sauce and egg in one and the flour, baking powder and remaining two teaspoons each of the seasoning salt and pepper in the other; combine well.  Once your stations are set up, pour your oil in a deep cast iron chicken fryer or dutch oven.  Bring the temperature of the oil to 350 degrees.  Remove the chicken from the marinade and shake off any excess buttermilk; dip it into the milk and egg mixture and then into the flour mixture and shake off any extra flour.  Place the chicken into the hot oil and fry in batches for 20-25 minutes or until the chicken floats.  Once you've got the chicken frying, lower the temperature to medium so that the outside doesn't burn in the first 5 minutes of frying!  As you start new batches, you'll  need to increase the heat to bring it back up to 350 and then reduce it a little to keep it from burning to a crisp.  Remember, the dark pieces (thighs) will take longer to cook, so keep that in mind if you fry the breasts and thighs together.  Don't crowd the chicken into the frying oil because it will not only reduce the temperature of the oil, but it will also prevent you from being able to turn them so that they brown evenly on both sides.  The chicken will float when it's done, so that is also a good guideline when checking to see if they are done.  If you are using a meat thermometer, make sure when you insert it into the chicken, you don't let it touch the bone; that will give you an inaccurate reading.  The temp on the thermometer should reach 160 for the chicken to be cooked thoroughly.  Drain on a paper towel lined baking sheet and allow to cool slightly before serving.  Enjoy!!!!

I think I'm going to sign off for now.  Bubba turned 18 today and we are going to Pappas Monday to celebrate his birthday.  I can't believe he's 18 years old.  It seems like just yesterday he was playing with his Pokemon game cards :)

Have a FANTABULOUS weekend....and Keep It Spicy :)

Spreading my own special brand of whatever I can get my hands on......

The Cadillac Cowgirl

Mmmmm.....Delicious!!!!!

Today was DEFINITELY a Monday!!!  You ever have one of THOSE days?  I definitely did!!!  Gary and I decided to go to Chili's for a cocktail and light supper.  We each had a margarita and we split fajitas.  It hit the spot and we've been hunkered down at home in the A/C since then.  Gary took a power nap, I caught up on my DVR'd episodes of French Food at Home and Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  If that doesn't speak to my diverse interests, then I don't know what does.  I like to be just as well versed in the highbrow as I do the lowbrow :)

This weekend I kicked ass in the kitchen!  I made shrimp salad Saturday night and a new potato salad last night to go with our smoked pork shoulder.  Gary totally rocked the pork shoulder.  He smoked it up at the store yesterday.  He rubbed it with Mild Bill's Spirit of the West BBQ Rub and glazed it with our Sassy Syrup.  It ROCKED!!!  Here are the recipes for the shrimp salad and potato salad. 

Cadillac Cowgirl Shrimp Salad

1 1/2 lbs fully cooked shrimp, peeled and deveined with tails removed
1/4 cup diced celery
1/4 cup diced shallot
1 Tablespoon chopped flat leaf parsley
1 Tablespoon Mild Bill's Cajun Seasoning
1/2 cup mayonnaise (feel free to adjust for your consistency preference)
Salt and pepper to taste

Mix the above ingredients in a medium bowl; taste for seasoning and adjust as necessary.  Cover and chill for at least an hour.  Serve with crackers, stuffed in tomatoes or avocados, or over a a bed of lettuce :)  You could also use the filling to make shrimp rolls.  Buy some French bread rolls or really good hot dog buns.  Toast and fill with the shrimp salad.  Viola!

Cadillac Cowgirl Potato Salad

2 lbs small red potatoes (you can normally buy the 2 lb bag at the store.  I like this option because the potatoes are really small and they'll cook quicker.)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup chopped red onion or shallot
1 Tablespoon chopped parsley
1 Tablespoon Mild Bill's Jalapeno Ranch Dip Mix
3 boiled eggs, chopped (whites only)
Salt and pepper to taste

In a large pot, boil the potatoes in salted water over medium high heat until tender - about 20 minutes.  Once fork tender, drain and cool.  In a large bowl, mix all of the ingredients and taste for seasonings adjusting the salt and pepper to taste.  Serve warm immediately or chill in the refrigerator until ready to serve.  I like to serve it warm, but it's good either way.

Paige has been at Gammy's since Friday.  I took on my closet over the weekend and while I made quite a dent in it, I'm still not finished.  At least you can see the carpet in the floor now.  I know, I know.  It's pathetic.  I mean, what 38 year old woman allows her closet to just go to shit?  Well, this one.  I will say I inventoried all of my purses, wallets, boots and turquoise jewelry and everything is present and accounted for.  That was actually my goal - to get all of that put back in it's proper place.  Look, we all have our vices and mine is purses.  And turquoise jewelry.  And boots.  I admit that I am a slave to those things and it pained me that my jewelry wasn't in it's designated area, my boots weren't up on the shelves and my purses weren't in their protective bags.  Now they are and balance has been restored to my life :)

The dogs were not down with my cleaning plans.  In fact, they did everything they could to discourage me from cleaning.  They'd lay on the bed exposing their muffins for belly rubs.  They'd drag my shit out of the bathroom so I'd have to run after them to get it back.  They'd come sit in my lap or in the middle of the floor where I was trying to clean.  They simply couldn't understand why I didn't want to just lay on my ass all day and do nothing and frankly, I see their point.  That closet kicked my ass!!  But hey, I made progress on a project that I've needed to tackle for a looooong time, so it's all good!

I wanted to give a shout out to all of the Mild Bill's customers that placed over the weekend.  Way to go!!  I love to see all of our customers cooking, placing and having a great time - especially with the freshest spices out there :)

Spreading my own special brand of kindness, joy and spicy love.......

The Cadillac Cowgirl

Pioneer Woman, You Can Kiss My Barefoot Contessa Lovin Ass!!

Wow!!!  Strong words from my usually scandal free blog these days.....

I miss those days.  Typing what came into my head and usually out of my mouth.  Pissing people off with just a few well placed and sometimes passive aggressive barbs....

The good old days.

But alas, I have had to curb my sharp tongue and partner in crime fingers when communicating orally and in the written word.  That's okay.  It really hasn't been all that terrible - I just like to complain about it every now and then.

Back to my bold statement about the Pioneer Woman, aka Ree Drummond.  I do admit to making and recreating some of her recipes and owning her first cookbook.  I actually liked her a few years ago, but then I became put off by her (wow - do we have something in common or what?!?!?!).  I'm a big proponent of "owning it".  Whether it be your bitchiness, your lifestyle, whatever...I just don't do well with fake people (as professed in several previous blog posts).  I have a serious problem with someone who wants people to think she's an isolated little ranch wife with limited resources when in fact she's married to one of the wealthiest cattle ranchers in the US, lives in a huge home along with a separate ranch house she's completely renovated, is highly educated, shops at Neimans, owns several pairs of Lucchese boots and uses La Mer facial cream. 

Now, I know some of you are asking, "Jesus - so what?  Jealous?"

That's an easy assumption; but, no, it's not that.  Had it not been for a few well placed posts on her blog and people on the internet searching about her and her husband, most people might still be under the assumption that she's got a rough ranch life.  WHATEVER!!  I'd have more respect for her if she owned up to those things about herself instead of leading people to believe she's isolated (only in terms of location) and not at all schooled in the finer things in life.

This leads me to the rest of my title, The Barefoot Contessa, aka Ina Garten.

I KNOW she's polarizing.  But at least you know why you do or don't like her.  There's no public vs. private persona with her.  She lives in the Hamptons and has an apartment on the Left Bank in Paris.  She built a party barn kitchen and regularly features her Hamptons lifestyle and likeminded friends on her show.  You see her driving her Mercedes and BMW through the Hamptons while she goes shopping at the cheese shops, butcher shops and seafood stores of East Hampton.  Her husband, Jeffrey, sits on the board of Aetna.  THE WOMAN IS LOADED AND SHE OWNS IT.

So there you have it - my side in the Hamptons vs. Middle America debate.  I am clearly an Ina Garten apologist....LOL!  My husband is not big on her, but he realizes 90% of the food he eats is inspired by her.  Whether I have something in common with someone or not, I want to at least know that there is authenticity to them.  Don't we all, really?  I believe we all want to know who and what we're dealing with....the very basic interpretation of "what you see is what you get", right?

Okay, enough for my rant.  I just had to get that off my chest.  I know that my food style can be more Pioneer Woman than Barefoot Contessa at times, but I always strive to serve my casseroles with an East Hampton flair :)

Conversations with Paige....wow.....she has not disappointed lately.  As witnessed by my sister last Wednesday:

Paige:  Mommy, what is the Adult DVD store?

Neither of us answered her.  Not when she asked us the first time.  Not when she asked us the fifth time.  I am not having that conversation with my 8 year old.  Ever.  Period.

One of Paige's friends spent the night with her and Paige complained about her "sexy feeling in her throat".  I told her before they went to bed I'd give her one of her Tums.  She turned to her friend and completely straight faced asked her:

"Have you thrown up in your mouth today?  My mommy has something you can take if you have."

Her friend looked at her like she was a wacko!!

Speaking of wacko, Paige also told her friend that I like to call her a crackhead.  Please, please, please, Paige....don't tell your friends shit like that.  It gets back to their moms......

Paige:  Mommy, Abby and I are going to own a fashion design company when we grow up.
Me:  That's awesome.
Paige:  Do you want to know what we are going to call it?
Me:  I'd love to.
Paige:  Shimmer and Shine, because the women who wear our clothes will shimmer and shine in our designs.
Me:  Oh Paige, that's wonderful (trying to keep a straight face)
Paige:  Yeah, I know.  And I'll make clothes for you.  They'll be so shiny.  I'll even make them big enough to fit your, you know.....(pointing to her chest).
Me:  Thanks Paige, that's great.
Paige:  I know.  That'll be a lot of fabric.
Me:  smiling.....just smiling :)

My blog post keeps being interrupted by my having to remind Gary of conversations we had last night.  He was a tad overserved at the Hall.  Imagine that.  It's kind of funny actually.

I mopped and cleaned the kitchen yesterday evening.  Today I'm going to dedicate myself to the laundry.  I had Gary string up a FANTABULOUS redneck clothesline for me in the backyard.  It helps speed up the laundry process and it's very eco and energy friendly.  I personally like to line dry sheets and blankets and it's also great to use so you can go ahead and hang up shirts instead of hanging them up out of the dryer.  That is where I fail in my battle against the evil laundry trolls.  I will do the laundry to the extent of washing it and throwing it the dryer, but I hate, hate, hate putting the shit up.  And no one else around here does it, so unless I do it, it doesn't get done.  Read:  laundry doesn't get done!!!

We took all three kids and seven of Tyler's buddies to float the river last weekend.  We stayed at Lazy L and L on the Guadalupe and loved it.  It's just a perfect place to stay and the staff is wonderful.  Our 3 hour float turned into a 6 hour float (theme from Gilligan's Island comes to mind) and it was fantastic!!  Everyone had such a great time and we even managed to squeeze in a trip to the Gristmill.  Hell yeah!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.  Stay cool and keep it spicy!!!

The Spice Mistress

Cadillac Cowgirl Breakfast Taters

Paige is a HUGE fan of breakfast for dinner - and really, who's not?  The Juicy of Love and Deliciousness (between random Whoopie Cushion stunts) requested a breakfast dinner last night.  Who am I to tell her no?  I prepared the usual - eggs, bacon, biscuits (which served as a vehicle for Mild Bill's new Terlingua Sunrise Habanero Jelly) and breakfast potatoes.  Below is my recipe for these delicious little morsels.

Cadillac Cowgirl Breakfast Taters

1 lb peeled and diced potatoes (I use Russet or Yukon Gold)
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 tsp Mild Bill's Budda Burger Seasoning
Vegetable Oil
1 tsp Butter

Heat up a large non stick skillet (that has a cover) and add the vegetable oil.  I'm going to pull a Rachel Ray and tell you about two turns of the skillet.  Add the potatoes and onions and toss in the skillet to coat with the veggie oil.  Sprinkle the Budda Burger Seasoning and coat again.  Turn the heat to medium, cover and cook (stirring frequently) for about 20-25 minutes or until the potatoes are tender.  I adjust the heat to medium low during the last 5-10 minutes just to keep them from getting overly browned or burned!  Before removing from heat, add the teaspoon of butter and stir the potatoes around so that they are evenly coated with the butter.  Adjust seasonings to taste and serve!

These yummy potatoes can also be combined with sausage, eggs and salsa for DELICIOUS breakfast tacos.  Hell Yeah!

Paige would like for Gilbert and Lollipop to legalize their relationship.  She's been dropping hints the past few days about buying Lollipop a wedding dress and Gilbert a tux.  She says we can marry them, then they can go back to one of their igloos and we can let them have a private time honeymoon. 

That's what I'm talkin about.  Guinea Love - Ellis Co. Style.  Let the lumping begin on Chmelar Rd :)

Keep it real - and legalize Guinea marriage!!!

The Cadillac Cowgirl

Eastbound and Down, Loaded up on Xanax.......

Well, technically, it's southeast bound and down in our case.  We've booked our trip to New Orleans for our anniversary.  YES!!!!  YES! YES! YES!!!

We arrive in NOLA on Friday 8/10 at 8:50 am.  This gives us time to check our bags at the hotel, mainline some coffee at Cafe DuMond (gotta wake up from my Xanacoma as we will be flying) and then head over to Mother's for lunch.  I can already taste the Ferdie Special with Debris.....mmmmmmmmm...........

Our hotel is within blocks of Mothers, Acme Oyster Bar, Muriel's and all of our favorite places in the French Quarter.  I seriously cannot wait to get there.  It's really not that far away and I am so freakin anxious to get away and just have a good time in my favorite city.  Red Dress Run here we come!!!

Gary came up to the store Sunday and smoked two racks of ribs using both Spirit of the West BBQ Rub and Mild Bill's BBQ Rub.  He also basted them with our Mild Bill's BBQ Sauce and they were FANTASTIC!  I made Trisha Yearwood's Crock Pot Mac and Cheese and a big pot of beans to go with the ribs.  Dinner was fantastic.  Here is the recipe for my beans.

Cadillac Cowgirl Pinto Beans

1 lb dried pinto beans
4 slices slab bacon, diced
1 medium onion, diced
1 can chicken broth plus 3 cans of water
1 Tbsp Mild Bill's Bean Seasoning

In a large soup pot or dutch oven, soak the beans for a few hours or overnight; drain and pick out any bad pieces; set aside.  Using the same soup pot or dutch oven, add the diced bacon and cook it until it starts to brown; add the diced onion and cook over medium low heat until the onion starts to soften - about 5 minutes.  Add the beans back in and pour in the chicken broth plus the three cans of water.  Bring to a boil and add the bean seasoning.  Stir to combine, cover and turn the heat down to medium.  Simmer over medium to medium low heat until the beans are tender (about 2 hours).  Add more water as needed (use warm or hot water so as not to bring the temperature down; you want to keep an even simmer) and more bean seasoning to taste if needed.  Serve with cornbread and enjoy!

I keep forgetting my fried chicken recipe.  I need to remember to bring it to the store with me so I can post it.  It's pretty bad ass if I do say so myself.

Yesterday, Paige asked me how old I was when I got my Expedition.  I told her I thought I was 34 or 35, but that I couldn't remember for sure.  She then asked me if I liked being old.  I told her I was only 38.....

She said, "Yeah.  You're old.  Do you like it?"

Can you believe that?  38 is now considered old by my child.  I guess I 'll have to start telling her I'm too old to take her places....hahahaha!

Speaking of.....

Our first river trip of the summer is this coming weekend.  Hallelujah Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  We are all looking forward to floating and relaxing and just having a great time.  We also booked RV sites for Labor Day weekend, also known as "The weekend Kelly stalks Charlie Robison for her birthday"!!!

I better get to work.  It's been a busy summer at Mild Bill's!  I'm happy to announce two new items - Terlingua Sunrise Habanero Jelly and Orange Chile Marmalade.  They are both out of this world delicious :)

Have a great Tuesday!!

Spreading my own special brand of kindness and joy in all that I do.......

The Cadillac Cowgirl

Things I've Realized.....

Summer does not offer all of the wonderful opportunities for conversations with Paige.  We aren't in the car a whole lot, she's not around all of her friends and she spends a whole lot of time at Gammy's....LOL!!!  Now, my mom and Paige have some crazy talks, but I can never remember them long enough to post them....hahahaha!

We went to Harvey West's last weekend and of course the girls took their bathing suits.  Paige was having a serious ADD meltdown Saturday morning when I told her that she didn't have to get dressed, she could just put her bathing suit on.  She totally freaked out.

"But what about my panties?"

This child doesn't want to wear them half the time and the other half, they aren't even clean.  All of a sudden, when I'm telling her to just put on her bathing suit, she is concerned about wearing underwear. 

Unknown to me, Paige put her bathing suit on OVER her undies.  I had no idea until she came back in the trailer a few hours later and laid this one on me:

"Why don't people recognize that I'm wearing panties?"

Apparently, we are all now supposed to comment on Paige's ability to not only put on underwear, but to applaud her for wearing them under her bathing suit.  Is the irony of this situation lost on everyone but me?  I have an eight year old daughter who doesn't want to wear underwear under her MASS jumper, but thinks they need to be worn under a bathing suit.  God help me.

Wednesday, Paige came to me and told me her tummy was hurting her.  We went through the symptoms, what she ate, etc and I basically told her to just make sure she told Mommy if she started feeling worse.  Well, a few minutes later she tells me that when she burps, stuff comes up....but she doesn't feel like she's going to throw up.  She had reflux as a baby and considering my GI issues, it's not surprising that she would have some issues, too.  So, when we left Mild Bill's, we went to the grocery store and I picked up some Kid's Tums for her.  She took one and it seemed to help.  Later on, I was sitting in the living room and she comes in and asks me, "What is that sexy feeling I get in my throat?"

I looked at her and asked, "WHAT???????"

Well, I scared her when I screamed that at her (I didn't mean to, but my God....what else do you do when your kid asks you a question like that?) and she was like, "I got mixed up...what did you call that when the stuff came back up?"

I ask, "you mean reflux?"

"Yes, sorry....I got confused."

No shit, I'm thinking......

So once I made sure she understood that it's called "acid reflux" and not "sexy feeling", I asked her if she was feeling bad again and she told me no, but that she just couldn't remember the name of it.

Here's hoping she remembers from now on.  OMG - can you imagine her telling her teacher that in 3rd grade.  "Hey, Mrs. Taylor, I got a sexy feeling in my throat when I burp."

Paige still had more to offer that night.  She came in the kitchen with a black Sharpie marker and, I swear to God, this really came out of my kid's mouth:

"Mommy, this says it's a permanent marker and when I write on my calendar, it won't come off.  How am I supposed to get it off if it's permanent?"

I say to her, "Well, Paige, it's permanent....it's not going to come off."

"Oh", she says.  "So, you're saying it's permanent and won't go away?"

"Yes", I tell her...it's not going to go away.  "That's what permanent means."

"I see.  Is this what they use on your tattoos?"

(Laughing) "Uh, no.  They use a different kind of ink and put it in a tattoo gun that has a needle attached to it and it tattoos the ink on you."

And as any highly evolved eight year old would wonder, "Mommy, why would you use a needle with ink when you can just use permanent Sharpie markers for your tattoos?"

I love my child :)

It's been a fun week with the Juicy.  She and I are learning French together and she is writing songs.  Yes, she's becoming a little songwriter.  She's been writing about a "Thriller Killer" on Halloween, a girl with no soul and broken guitar strings.  There is never a dull moment.  Oh, and she's jacked up because Directv dropped Nickelodeon.  And I mean SERIOUSLY jacked up.  I didn't think she was going to make it when they took the Upside Down Show off the air.  She cried about that. 

I'm off to do some canning.  I have a badass fried chicken recipe I need to post.  I forgot to bring it with me.

Have a fantabulous weekend and good luck if you are cooking chili....and Keep it Spicy!!

Spreading the unmistakable aroma of (fresh) cumin everywhere I go.......

The Spice Mistress

Size Really Does Matter.....

Yes, according to Paige, small weenies are better than big weenies.  Big weenies can hurt you.  Big weenies are heavy.

Hey pervs - get your minds out of the gutter!  She's talking about weiner dogs....you know, Waylon and Eddie :)

Still, at 7 am when your child asks you if you like big weenies or small weenies better, your mind tends to wander.

I can't believe I haven't blogged in a month.  That's a lot of Paigeisms gone to waste.  In the past month, she's requested Hooters for Fathers Day (denied) and told everyone at Sam's Pizza she likes to suck the flavor off her fingers.  There have been a few more good ones, but I didn't write them down and I certainly didn't get around to blogging about them :(  The kid is a laugh a minute.  She's always so full of witty remarks and is really just the sweetest child ever.  Since school's been out, she's spent the night with two BFF's and I'm happy to report she carried clean underwear in her overnight bag each time.  I feel like progress is being made. 

I'm in the process of removing rust from one of my cast iron lids, drinking and blogging.  One is not so dangerous (ever since I almost blew up the house cleaning the oven, I always check it before I turn it on) and the other two, well....it could get a little dicey depending on how many glasses of wine I have the rest of the evening.  I scrubbed my cast iron lid with veggie oil and salt and I've got it in the oven right now.  I think it's going to need another round of scrubbing before it's completely rust free.  Gary is in bed and so is Paige.  I told her she was going to Gammy's tomorrow and she went straight to bed.  No shit!  Strategy for the school nights when I can't get her to go to bed, right?  I'm really impressed with Paige right now.  She's been trying new foods and I'm so proud that she's getting a little more variety in her diet.  In the past month, she's started eating tuna with mayo on a sandwich and she's added meatballs to her spaghetti.  This was the age when Tyler finally started eating something other than chicken and corn, so maybe there is hope for her yet.  She's also become obsessed with Harry Potter.  She's read all of the books and is currently watching the movies.  I'm so excited to see her reading for fun. 

I want to really go batshit crazy over this whole Regional Referee thing that I've gotten caught up in, but I'm not going to.  I yelled about it to Gary for about 20 minutes tonight and even though I think it's a bunch of BS, I'm not going to air it out on my blog.  It is what it is.  Thankfully, there are enough people out there who do know what I'm talking about, so I don't have to go into anymore detail for them to nod their heads in agreement with me :)

Harvey West's cook off is coming up next weekend and I am sooooooo excited!!!!  I love that cook off.  Hell, I may not even cook - I'm just looking forward to hanging out with friends, enjoy some good eating and relaxing.  I'm going to take it easy this weekend, do some canning and as usual, scrub my friggin floors.  I'm telling you, it's a hell of a life I lead!

Have I blogged since Polka Fest?  I don't think I have.  It was a blast and we sold an ASSLOAD of BBQ Sandwiches!  We had a great weekend, except when the A/C went out at the store.  That wasn't so much fun.  It's since been fixed, thank God, but it was HOT in there!  We were open Saturday and Sunday and had such a good time visiting with people who knew Stanley J. was smoking briskets and made sure they were there to get a BBQ sandwich.  We sold some spices and chili, but mainly people came to get a Stanley J. special.  I think we are going to smoke a few briskets for July 4th.  I was kind of BBQ'd out after Polka Fest, but I'm ready for another go round!

I'm still obsessed with Armie Hammer as Christian Grey, but uh.....Magic Mike???  OMG,. WTF???  Ladies!!!!  The hot pieces of ass in that movie are almost too much for me to take at one time.  I think I'm going to go see it tomorrow night, but I'm not entirely sure.  I'm not a big Channing Tatum fan, but even he looks hot.  I can't wait to see Matthew McConaughy and Joe Mangienello......YUM.  YUM YUM YUM!!!

I redecorated and repainted the Cowgirl Cadillac.  I combined the cowgirl motif of the CC with the shabby chic decor of Pussywillow Rose for an awesome shabby cowgirl interior.  I love it!  I repainted the outside of my Shasta - she's now light blue on the bottom and still white on top.  I pulled up the carpet and laid faux wood flooring and it looks amazing.  I need to find a few things for my kitchen countertop, but other than that, I've got it exactly the way I want it.  I'm actually down to just one trailer now.  Wow....

Time to start looking for another one...hahahaha!!

I guess it's time to refill my wine glass and check on my lid.  I can smell it.  I'm not alarmed, though.  The house hasn't started to fill with smoke and there aren't any toxic fumes wafting through the house.  The babies are in bed with their daddy.  They were going BSC about a skunk on the front porch earlier.  It was a baby.  And, in true redneck fashion, my husband and child were watching it through the window.  Gary turned the sprinklers on and it hauled ass out of the flower beds.  Cheap entertainment on Chmelar Road.  It's how we roll.

Keep it real.....and spread some kindness and joy while you're at it :)

The Spice Mistress

Word of the Day: Lumping

Yes, Lumping.  My daughter clued me into the proper use of the word lumping.

Paige:  Mommy, you know sometimes when I'm feeding Lollipop, I'll scratch her back and she'll start lumping it.
Me:  Lumping it?
Paige:  Yeah, she lumps her back.
Me:  (Sort of just standing there, staring at her, trying to figure out where this is going to go.....) Do you mean arching her back, like a cat?
Paige:  Yeah, lumping.  That's what lumping is.
Me:  Well, actually, lumping isn't a word, but know that I know what you mean, then we're good.
Paige:  She also makes that noise.
Me:  What noise?
Paige:  That noise Gilbert makes when he's in her cage and she's lumping her back.  He purrs.  She purrs.  She purrs when I scratch her back.
Me:  Paige, where did you come up with the term lumping?
Paige:  (very thoughtfully, mind you) Well, you and Daddy always tell the dogs to stop humping each other and that's kind of what Gilbert does to Lollipop.  But, Gilbert loves Lollipop, so it's love and humping.  Lumping.

Can't argue with that logic now, can I?

Keep it spicy....and keep lumping :)

K

An Open Letter to Paige.......

Dearest Paige,

When packing your lunch in the mornings (like yesterday morning when your mommy was sick and slept in and you told your daddy "you could take care of it."), please pack something other than juice and applesauce to eat with your ice cream at lunch.  Not only is this an unhealthy lunch for a growing girl who needs a good meal in the middle of the day, it also makes your mother look like a complete ass - for several reasons:

1.  I'm a shitty mom and cannot pack a decent lunch for my kid;
2.  I'm the kind of mom that lets my kid take whatever he/she wants;
3.  We have no food and therefore, you have only applesauce to eat;
4.  I don't care that you gorge on ice cream Mondays and Thursdays instead of eating a healthy lunch; and, most importantly,

5.  It makes your mommy look like a jackass after she ripped the school lunch lady a new ass for not providing healthy enough lunches for the children of St. Joseph.

This means two things - I care about your nutrition, of course; and, how I look to the school lunch lady who I'm sure has been monitoring your lunches since my tirade last week.

In the future, it would mean a lot to me if you could include a sandwich and a piece of fruit in your lunch box. While I feel confident that the majority of your lunches will be packed by me in the future, there is always going to be those off days that you might need to do it yourself.  It would be a good idea to pack somewhat healthy items to offset the (sugar free) chocolate pudding you sometimes eat for breakfast.  The pudding wouldn't be such a big deal if Ms. Volker didn't see you scraping the bottom of the pudding cup when I stop to let you out of the Expedition every morning.  You see, Ms. Volker was also included on my very terse email to the aforementioned lunch lady and in my defense, it was the lunch lady who decided to include the school principal on her reply to me.  I took that as an act of war and responded appropriately :)

I understand you are too young to understand the politics of parenthood, school lunches and my position in the kingdom of indignant even when wrong.  Remember that regardless of the horrific lunch you packed for yourself yesterday (highlighted by your too long bangs and your somewhat too long fingernails), it is imperative that the lunch lady not win this battle and yesterday, well, you unwittingly helped the opposition.  Going forward, let's not allow something like this to happen again.  I know you can do it.

I love you my little Juicy of Love and Deliciousness,

Mommy

Score One for My Noggin.....

Good Morning!  It's Thursday and I am ready for the weekend!  Something really wonderful happened this morning.  I was able to remember the last four songs that I listened to on my radio!  Even better - I still remember them!!

Cannonball
Backwater
Dope Show
Ocean Size

I know this probably seems weird and eye roll worthy to a lot of people, but for me, it is a HUGE deal.  I normally can't remember hearing a song as soon as it's over.  I don't recall conversations, actions,  you name it.  Getting off of the Cymbalta was supposed to help my short term memory and it has made a difference.  I'm not 100% better, but I'm also not washing my hair four or five times every morning any more because in my mind, it never happened.  Baby steps.....

However....there are plenty of things I DO remember..specific and tedious details...so anyone trying to pull the old, "you just don't remember" bullshit....uh uh.  Not happening.  :)

Lots of chili cook offs this weekend - lots of opportunities to steal some points.  Or, in my case, GET THAT LAST DAMN POINT!!!  Seriously?  I just want 10th place - that's all I'm asking for!  Paige is cooking Saturday at TOT.  I hope she kicks some serious booty!!

I'm still having a hell of a time finding a decent pillow to sleep on.  My neck is JACKED UP this morning.  I can't take a hydrocodone or I'll pass out....so I'll just swallow a handful of Aleve and hope it helps!  I've tried all kinds of pillows and I can't seem to find the right one.  It sucks!!

I've got my mind on the river these days.  It's all I can do to keep from hooking up to my trailer and hauling off to Gruene.  It sure would be nice to tie off to a tree and just float and nap and relax.  I think Paige and I might try and sneak away after she gets out of school.  She and I were both talking about it this morning.  We need a river trip!!  I can't wait until Labor Day - my special birthday weekend with Charlie Robison.  Ohh....that just never gets old! 

Have a great day and even better weekend.  I'm happy to see that Richard Knight is running for CASI Executive Director and that Roger Foltz and Darin Jester are seeking re-election.  Good news for chili cooks.

Keep it Spicy!

The Spice Mistress

The Simple Things in Life

Happy Mother's Day! I hope all the mommas out there had a fantabulous day! We had a divine lunch at Pappadeaux with Gammy and Pawpaw, Courtney and my in laws, Bryan and Carolyn. We went to the one in Cedar Hill and it was packed! Unknown to us, they opened at 10 am. So, our plan to get there at 11 am didn't work out as expected. Still, we didn't have much of a wait. Paige really didn't care that it was Mother's day. She made sure I realized that no matter the day, she still needs to eat. She also requested that I serve her in bed while she watched a movie! WTH?!?!? It was awesome. That kid never misses a beat.

I had a productive day. Got the treadmill moved, Gary moved a table into the bathroom and I did some laundry. Paige and I also cleaned the guinea habitats. "Mommy, why does Gilbert like to sniff Lollipop's behind and put his front paws on her back?". I like to just pretend like I don't hear these questions. Fortunately, I was able to change the subject!! We stopped at HEB on the way home to get stuff for dinner and lunch stuff for Paige's lunches this week. I was involved in a not so passive aggressive exchange with my child's lunch lady. I've never been a fan of the lunch program at her school. For a private school, the lunch offerings SUCK and while I understand the difficulty of feeding kids, albeit picky kids, I just feel the food is really unhealthy and includes way too many processed foods. I just think its best to make her lunches from now on. That lunch lady really pissed me off!

I had Tilapia Lafeyette for lunch. It had crab meat, tomatoes, capers, basil and shrimp in a light white wine sauce. I loved it!! All of us had fish and thoroughly enjoyed our meals. Soooo....I figured simple and easy for dinner. I present to you my supper offering:

CC Black Eyes Peas

1 lb dried black eyed peas
1 small onion, diced
1/2 lb salt pork, sliced
2 Tbsp Beef granules
10 cups water

Soak peas for a few hours; drain water through colander and set peas aside. In a large Dutch oven, brown the salt pork over medium heat. Add the diced onion and continue to cook for about five minutes or until onion starts to soften. Add the peas back to the pot, the beef granules and 10 cups of water; stir to combine. Turn the heat to high and bring to a boil. Once boiling, cover and turn the heat to medium. Simmer covered for an hour. After an hour, check the peas. If they aren't tender yet, add a cup of water and continue to cook on medium heat for another 30 - 45 minutes. They should be tender and you should have a nice gravy. Adjust the liquid to your preference by cooking them a little longer to thicken it, or add a little water to thin it out. Salt to taste and serve with cornbread. Enjoy!!

I thought about floating a Serrano for a little kick, but opted not to. It can certainly be done, though and you'd have a nice pot of peas with a little spice ;)

Have a great evening! I'm going to call it a night! Keep it Spicy!!

The Cadillac Cowgirl

Greetings Earthlings!

How's it hangin blogosphere?  I can't believe it's already Wednesday.  Where did this week go?  Shit, where did this school year go?  Paige has 2 1/2 weeks of school left and then what I hope is a very relaxing summer break.  She's going to do golf camp this summer.  Yes....golf camp!  She plays it on her Wii and the all day camp lets them swim as well.  Right up that little Juicy's alley. 

I snorted Steak Seasoning today and can't stop coughing.  Yep...I like to cut lines and snort the various spices :)  Haha...kidding.  I even had a mask on, but that stuff is so powdery, it just hangs in the air and always makes me cough and hack.  That sounds super attractive, doesn't it?  I can't wait to share my new venture with everyone.  It's almost complete and then I'll be able to unveil all of the details.  I'm really excited about the future and opportunities this will present for both me and Mild Bill's. 

The other night, I was watching Dancing with the Stars.  Maks was dancing and I commented on how HAWT I think he is.  Paige asked me if he was my boyfriend.  I laughed and told her no.  She then shared this wisdom with me:

"Mommy, you can have a boyfriend even if you are married.  You just can't tell your husband.  And you don't ever, ever want the two of them to meet."

I don't believe I can properly convey my shock at what she said to me.  I asked her MULTIPLE times where she heard that and who told her that.  She kept telling me no one told her and that she didn't hear it anywhere.  She kept telling me it "had been in her head for awhile."  In her head for awhile?  She's EIGHT!!!!!  I told Gary and he was like WTF.  I don't know why he was so WTF.  This is the same child who sang "Mirror mirror on the wall, there's another daddy after all." to her daddy and thought it was funny.  I don't know what's up with that kid...but she is a piece of work.

I'm ready for more ink :)  More like, I'm overdue for some new ink!!  I'm going to finish the sleeve on my right arm.  I need the top filled in some more and I want to continue down to my wrist.  I've got a few ideas, but I'm sure Mr. Chris Erickson will let me know what he's going to tattoo on me and it will be just as fabulous as the other three he's done.  I love him.  I've missed getting tattoos.  That was always my private time; my time to relax.  Gary suggested bluebonnets because he knows how much I love them.  When Chris did my first 1/2 sleeve, we needed some filler and that was one of my suggestions.  He wasn't crazy about doing them because it is a lot of detail and I needed something dark to cover the rest of my old armband that also included my ex-husband's name...that I had to have covered up with Celtic knotwork after I divorced him 24 months after marrying him.  Let me digress for a moment:

DO NOT EVER, EVER PUT ANOTHER MAN OR WOMAN'S NAME ON YOUR BODY - UNLESS IT IS YOUR CHILD'S.  AND, IF THE AFOREMENTIONED MAN OR WOMAN SAYS,"IF YOU LOVE ME YOU'LL DO IT.", RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THAT CRAZY PERSON.

Back to my tattoo - I ended up with a crow (because I love them) to cover up the black part of the armband.  I think Chris would do a few bluebonnets...at least I hope he would.  I guess I'll need to start scouring the internet for ideas.  I can't wait!!!!

I'm at the store waiting on my sign guy to show up.  I've sent Tyler and Paige home and I'm just hanging out drinking a glass of wine.  We were going to cook in Marshall this Saturday, but we are going to stay home.  We've got a ton of stuff to do around the house and I really, really need to do some more canning.  I switched out my dining tables between the dining room and the kitchen and I need to finish getting that set up the way I like it.  I need to effin laundry and the puppies really, really need a bath.  Maybe I'll make some of my kick ass turkey burgers and we'll just hang out at the house all weekend.  That sounds pretty heavenly!

Have a great evening :)  Sign guy should be here any minute now...I'm going to go troll Google for skull pictures!

Spreading my own special brand of kindness and joy......

K