Friday, December 7, 2012

Not Necessarily the Same as Lumping....But Close....

This morning Paige told me she had found Lollipop's happy spot.

Paige:  I found Lollipop's happy spot.  It's right under her neck.  She purrs and shakes when I scratch her there.
Me:  Aww...how sweet.  She loves it when you spend private time with her and love on her.
Paige:  Well, it's not the same as Gilbert.
Me:  True, it's not.  But you're her mommy and she loves you.
Paige:  Well, it's not the same thing as lumping, but I try to make up for Gilbert being gone.
Me:  That's wonderful.  Just fantastic.

I was telling my mom about my dogs driving each other (and me) batshit crazy the past few days.  I think it's time they had their nuts cut.  I then explained to my mom that they're like an old married couple, biting each other's nuts one minute and cleaning one another's teeth the next.

My mom told me that she didn't know what kind of marriage I had, but there was certainly NO nut biting or teeth cleaning going on in hers.

She's probably also never lumped either :)

Sorry mom....at least I didn't talk about the Pirate Eye.......

Keep it real - and have a great weekend no matter what kind of freaky relationship you have with both the animals and humans in your life!!

K

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Conversations with Paige

This morning on the way to school, I noticed a lovely scent coming from the backseat of the Expedition......

Me: Hey Paige, are you wearing that Bath and Body Works body spray?
Paige: Yes. Why?
Me: Just wondering. You smell delicious.
Paige: Yeah, I know. I like to mix it up.
Me: Mix it up??? Paige: Yeah, wear different perfumes. Keep people guessing. 
Me: Are you kidding me?
Paige: Nope. No one knows from day to day how I'm going to smell when I come to school. They always ask when I get to school. Or they just smell me and try to figure it out.

From the mouth of my soon to be nine year old......

Pray for her daddy and me.....

Spreading my own special brand of joy and kindness....and an aroma that might keep you guessing....

The Spice Mistress
(AKA The HMFIC)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

If An Itchy Palm Means Money, Should I Fear An Itchy C-Section Scar?

Wow - what a friggin visual! Nothing to worry about here. My tubes are tied. Still.....kinda scary logic. I know this goes without saying, but I truly adore my child. With that said, whew.....what a week its been - and its only Tuesday! She has worn my ass out. Paige normally calls Gammy on the way to school every morning and talks to her. Then we shoot the shit. Well, she was so out there this morning I had to turn on Radiohed and suggest we just have some quiet time on the way to school. She's just so anxious and all over the place right now. And she is such a worrier. I can normally handle her with no issues, but man......the past few weeks have been rough. Tonight, while watching The Walking Dead, Paige and I worked on her math. I HAD TO TAKE a break to see the heads roll out of the aquarium, but we got a lot accomplished. I was able to help her and she did really well. I know she's going to come through this in no time. And why wouldn't she? After all, she's the miracle baby born at 30 weeks :) I've got a standing date with Thom Yorke. See ya on the flipside, muthaf**kas!! K

So Many People....So Little Time (and bail money)

I have been so freakin keyed up and stressed out for the last two weeks.  I've gone through all of my hydrocodone and half of my Xanax.  The HDBIC at T&B Demolition, LLC didn't go away as we had hoped, so that caused a shitload of stress and general bullshit for Lord Brignon and myself.  That situation (we think) has finally been put to bed, but I'm not at liberty to give out details at this time.  What I will say is don't ever, ever have a business partner.  Especially one who likes to lie, spend money at breast lounges and likes to tell his wife that his business is in the shitter because of everyone but him.  But I digress.

Then there is my sweet, precious, Juicy of Love and Deliciousness.  Many of you know of her math struggles these past few months.  I had the pleasure of giving up an hour of my life to listen to her teacher and principal say things to me like, "she keeps saying she's confused, but there's no way an 8 year old knows what that means" yet, "she should know what a numerator is" and "she should really be able to remember things better".  Here is a snippet of the conversation I had last week:

Me:  So, ya'll want me to tell you why Paige makes the mistakes she makes in math?
Them:  Yes.
Me:  Did you ask her?
Them:  No.
Me:  Well, I'm not trying to be a smart ass (yes, I said smart ass...I didn't mean to, but I did) here, but aren't ya'll the ones teaching her?  Does it occur to either of you to ask her what it is about the math problems she doesn't understand?
Them:  She says she's confused.  She can't possibly know what confused means.
Me:  Why wouldn't she know what the word confused means?
Them:  When I was sitting with her, pointing to each of the problems asking her why they were wrong and how she got those answers, she just kept telling me she was confused and didn't understand.

This from the principal, who was standing over my shoulder stabbing the problems on the paper with her finger and re-enacting her interaction with Paige...when she was supposedly "helping" her.

Me:  Did you go through the problems with her and show her how to get the correct answer?
Them:  Yes.  She said she didn't understand.  She should know all of this.  She couldn't even tell us what a numerator is.
Me:  So, my child shouldn't know what the word confused means, but she should be able to tell you the top number of a fraction is a numerator while you are sitting next to her drilling her?
Them:  No response.

I could continue sharing this bullshit conversation, but I just get worked up all over again.  Basically, they've passed my kid around to a few teachers in hopes that she will get the right answers when doing fractions, pre-algebra and multiplication problems in front of/with them.  She still doesn't.  So I ask, do you offer tutoring?  The first time I asked I was told that tutoring was more of a crutch and they didn't want to start doing that yet.  The second time I asked, all of a sudden it's available.  But with a caveat - "we don't know if it will even help her since she doesn't even understand any of this to begin with."

Then it gets better.  "Paige has always struggled with math", I'm told.

Me:  No she hasn't.
Them:  You've never had to come in about Paige and math.
Me:  No.  For the past five years, I've talked to her 2nd grade teacher about her lack of focus, weird questions and struggles with Religion testing.  I talked to her 1st grade teacher and Mrs. Volker about her reading and focusing (Mrs. Reyna, her 1st grade teacher, tutored that baby and she's a reading fiend now.)  I talked to Mrs. Hartley because she thought she was immature.  I had to agree, considering she was 5 and in kindergarten.  And finally, Sister Lucy and I spoke about Paige's lack of interaction with her classmates (well, maybe she doesn't like them) and whether or not I was feeding her food full of red dye 5 because she was so full of energy and didn't like to focus (she was 4 and in pre-k).

But no, I have never, ever talked to anyone other than the two of you about my child struggling in math, because this is the first time she's had problems in math.  And from what every other parent in this class has told me, all of our kids are having problems.

Them:  Oh no.  Just Paige.

So then I ask them what we are going to do to correct this and help out my child.  And do you know what they say?  The principal and 3rd grade teacher/assistant principal at the school I've been sending my child to for five years and spending thousands of dollars a year so that she receives the best education possible tell me to call the Ennis ISD and tell them they HAVE to test her because we pay school taxes to them.

Me:  Test her for what?  Dyslexia?  Learning disabilities?
Them:  Oh no.  She's not dyslexic and she doesn't have any learning disabilities.  Her grades in all of her other subjects are fine.  (Her math grade is a 78).
Me:  Um, okay.  So what do I tell them to test her for?
Them:  They need to test her to see why she doesn't understand the math.  And if they can tell us why she doesn't understand, then we can try to help her.
Me:  I've told you why she has a harder time with math.  It's overwhelming to her.  It's tedious, methodical and once you start compounding simple math with other elements, it is difficult for her.  Haven't you noticed that Paige excels in unstructured subjects, but that her math grades are lower.
Them:  Yes.  But she should still get this.
Me:  So what if they tell you the same thing I've just told you.  Are you going to treat her any differently?  Teach her differently?  Give her more one on one instruction?
Them:  If she has a specific learning issue that they can pinpoint and can tell us exactly what we are supposed to do to fix it, then yes.  We have to then.
Me:  But you don't have to unless they tell you exactly what to do.
Them:  Correct.

I have been going batshit crazy about this for a week.  I am so disappointed in my child's school right now.  Gary and I have supported Catholic education from the time we started planning Paige's education.  We never thought we would have this kind of conversation with an educator at a private Catholic school. 

I called and talked to the principal at one of the elementary schools in Ennis.  He was more helpful in 10 minutes on the phone than her teacher was in the hour I spent with her.  It's real simple - 3rd grade math is hard.  Much harder than 2nd grade.  On top of that, not all kids are math minded.  Does it mean they have a specific learning issue?  No, you just have to work with them a little more than the others.  What you don't do is write them off and that is certainly the vibe we've gotten from St. Joseph's about Paige.  So, I got the name of some online math games that I've downloaded for Paige and since she's getting a tablet for her birthday, I'm going to load it with all sorts of math games, worksheets and anything else I can get my hands on.

Just because my kid can write a screenplay about a teenage zombie but can't do 3rd grade math does not mean anything is wrong with her.  And that's that!!!!

And that is the other thing.  All I hear from them is that she doesn't have any self confidence.  That is BULLSHIT!!!  Anyone who knows my kid knows she thinks she is the bees knees.  What is going on up there to make my child doubt herself?  That has always bothered me and while a Catholic education for Paige has always been important to her daddy and I, we've kind of turned the corner after the past week.  I have a feeling she won't be attending St. Joseph next year.  This has just left such a bad taste in our mouths.......

So the other morning I ask her if she thinks she's smart....

Paige:  Of course I'm smart.  I've known that since I was a baby.

I love that kid!!

Between T&B Douchalition and 3rd Grade Math, I've been on a tear the past few weeks.  Thank God for Mild Bill's.  It's such a blessing.....I love coming to work everyday.  It's busy and I've got so many wonderful things on the horizon.  This has really been the only bright spot this past year - at least professionally.  I know 2013 is going to be better.  I just know it!!!

Gary and I cooked last weekend at the Blue Christmas Police and Fire Dept CCO in Irving.  I won 1st Place Beans and placed 7th in Chili.  Gary placed 8th - hell yeah!  They had 57 cooks - what a fantastic turnout and the weather was gorgeous!  This weekend we will be cooking at the Irving Elks Lodge. They are having the combined TOT and Cowtown Christmas Party Friday night, so we'll be there for that.  We will probably go home Saturday after the cook off and Gary will go back up there Sunday.  I don't know if I'll cook both days.  We are definitely going to Tri State in January and I'm pretty sure we are going to Indianapolis to party with some of the Biskit Boys at the New Year's Eve CCO up there.  We have to use our free SWA plane tickets and since New Orleans is a little out of our budget right now, this may be what we use them for.  Hey - there's a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Indianapolis....so you won't hear any complaints from me!!

Mild Bill's will soon have Casa Fiesta beans available via the website and we'll also be bringing them to any cook off we attend.  Stay tuned to our website and FB for more info!

Mild Bill's also has a 10% off coupon for all spice mixes and food products now through December 31st.  This applies to all items in both sections on our website.  Our jellies, taco seasoning, ranch dip mix and chili mixes make fabulous gifts!  Use coupon code XMAS10 when you check out :)

A few weeks ago I found a recipe on Pinterest called Mexican Eggs in Purgatory.  It's basically eggs baked in a spicy green sauce.  It looked and sounded fantastic, so I decided to make them for dinner.  Well, I got to HEB and I thought, what if I did something more along the lines of Huevos Rancheros instead of baking them.  So I did, and this is what I came up with!! 

Cadillac Cowgirl Salsa Verde Huevos Rancheros
(Serves 2)

4 Eggs
4 Corn Tortillas
1 cup Green Salsa (I bought a bottle of Herdez and used 1/2)
1/2 cup Chicken Broth
1/4 tsp Mild Bill's Jalapeno Salt
1 can Hatch Green Chili Enchilada Sauce
1 can Casa Fiesta Black Refried Beans, prepared according to directions
Pico de Gallo and Crumbled Cotija Cheese for garnish

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and spray a baking dish with non stick spray.  Lay the corn tortillas on the baking dish and spray the top of them with non stick spray.  Set aside.  In a medium size soup pot, combine the enchilada sauce, green salsa, chicken broth and jalapeno salt; bring to a boil and cover.  Reduce the heat to medium low and simmer it for 10-15 minutes.  It will thicken up slightly and reduce a little bit.  While that is simmering, place the corn tortillas in the oven and bake until slightly crispy around the edges - about 10 minutes.  In the meantime, fry the eggs however you like them (Gary eats his runny, I cook the crap out of mine) and once done to your tastes, set them aside while you begin assembling the deliciousness :)

Remove the tortillas from the baking dish - two to a plate.  Spread the warm refried black beans over each tortilla and top with the eggs.  Pour the green sauce over the top and garnish with the crumbled Cotija cheese and Pico.  Serve warm and enjoy!!



We had a terrific Thanksgiving meal.  We roasted our turkey in the new roaster my mom and I bought and we had a ham from The Honey Baked Ham Store.  Everything was amazing and of course I ate and drank a little too much!  I took a nap right after lunch :)  Between the mimosas, red wine, turkey and dressing, I was in a serious trytophan coma!!!

I also tried something new with my Jalapeno Jelly.  I warmed it up in the microwave and added it to the cranberry relish.  Uh yeah - it was BAD ASS!!  I also used Jalapeno Relish in my Pea Salad for the first time ever (it was AMAZING!!!) and I used Hatch Medium in my macaroni and cheese for a little heat.  I'm going to make the macaroni again before I post the recipe.  I didn't quite like the consistency of the sauce, so I want to make it one more time. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.  I'm going to get back to filling orders :)

Keep it Spicy!

The Spice Mistress