Paige: Mommy?
Me: Yes....
Paige: Mommy, can you and Daddy buy me one of those long poles. You know, the kind you stick in the ground. I can climb up it and wrap my legs around it and slide down it upside down.
Me: Let's ask your Daddy......
I'm not shittin you...that was an actual conversation with my daughter about pole dancing at 7 am this morning.
Paige: Mommy?
Me: Yes....
Paige: Do you see that dog that's watching those horses?
Me: Yes, I see it.
Paige: I'm going to name him Horsewatch, because he watches the horses.
Me: Go for it.
Paige: Do you think that's a good name?
Me: I think that's a great name.
Paige: I know that.
Paige: Mommy, who's that playing basketball?
Me: Missouri and West Virginia.
Paige: Mishwerri and West Vajeena?
Me: (trying not to laugh) No, Mi-ssour-i and West Vir-gin-ia?
Paige: Like the Virgin Mary?
Me: Yes, like the Virgin Mary.....
These are just a few samples of the conversations I have with The Juicy of Love and Deliciousness. Her daddy is so screwed...they say you pay for your raising. I don't know what he expects. She was conceived after an evening at a booby bar. Swear to God....I'm telling the truth. Martinis and cleavage....all in one night!
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